Dear Abby: Retired hubby drives wife up a wall

Dear Abby My husband retired three weeks ago and he has been driving me crazy ever since I m a night owl and he s known it since we met years ago This day he advised me he d be playing golf with an old friend the next morning at a m at a lesson minutes away and needed to get up at a m I demanded if he could be extra quiet in the morning and use the guest bathroom to shower so he wouldn t wake me an hour early He huffily put his towel and shampoo in the guest shower stomped back to his easy chair and plopped down heavily When I appealed him what was wrong he stated he was annoyed that he couldn t take his shower in our regular bathroom I disclosed I was annoyed that it would make me lose an hour of sleep before working an eight-hour day He mentioned Sorry you re annoyed but I m retired and things are changing I never expected him to get up earlier in retirement Is it asking too much that my routine and sleep schedule not be disrupted as long as I M still working After that anything goes but I still need the structure Thrown in Massachusetts Dear Thrown I will assume that your marriage has been a happy one until now and that usually involves compromise I do not think your request that he shower in the guest room so you could stay on your sleep schedule was asking too much I wonder why he would say things are changing unilaterally Could he miss the unquestioned authority his former job afforded him I ask because of the tone in which he explained what he did If he decides to punish you for asking him to shower in the guest room on mornings when he has a golf battle suggest that you will sleep in the guest room on those nights Dear Abby I ve been dating a guy off and on for the past seven years Giorgio is a wonderful person and will do just about anything for me The problems are that he doesn t have much to offer and he talks too much He shares a great deal of our private business to family and friends especially his mother She ll ask him several questions about me and then make snide comments in return I have spoken to him more than once about this to no avail Giorgio knows I don t want him but I can t get rid of him Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated Seven-Year Itch in Georgia Dear Seven-Year Itch If you are aware of the snide comments Giorgio s mother has been making it must be because Giorgio has passed them along to you Has he no brains at all Her attitude about you would erode your relationship with her son even if you chose to continue it I don t know why you can t get rid of Giorgio but try this Tell him you no longer want to see him and no longer want to be friends Unless you do the message won t get across If he persists warn him that if he doesn t go away you will file a police account because at that point what he is doing will be considered stalking Then do it if necessary Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA