Dear Abby: Hubby doesn’t earn enough – should I leave?

Dear Abby How long would you give your partner to get a full-time job What if that partner was helpful in other areas of the household brought in rental income from a home he owned and helped with the kids I am in a predicament My spouse has been working as an adjunct professor since we met and has remained in that career for years without benefits or a salary that can aid us We have children now and I have been working my tail off for more than years to provide a lifestyle for our family Would you let your husband continue in his dream of adjunct professor or make him get an additional part-time job to bring in more income And would you leave this person if he didn t want to do more to help provide for the family Exhausted in Pennsylvania Dear Exhausted Would leaving your husband improve your lifestyle You and your husband should consult a financial adviser and discuss your situation From what you have written your husband doesn t sit around doing nothing He may be doing his best to contribute in other methods If the numbers don t add up it is achievable he may need to do something more to generate income But a word of caution Do not issue an ultimatum unless you are ready to follow through Dear Abby I am a single man with no siblings My elderly father passed away eight months ago My mother is now in hospice with a life expectancy of weeks to months My parents have lived long and productive lives and I m proud of both of them We have reliably been very close Since their terminal illnesses I have managed to function fairly well My complication is with certain triggers For example I can no longer go to the beach because I reliably remember my father s voice welcoming me home when I returned The worst one is when people see my childhood photos and say Your parents must have loved you a lot I know these people mean well but I can t help grieving over the bond I had and have lost with my parents I plan to seek counseling but I would appreciate any advice you would have about reducing the effect of these triggers Their Son in San Diego Dear Son Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father You may need help coping with the pain of losing him as well as dealing with your mother s sad prognosis When a loved one dies there are of subject bittersweet memories Managing them is an individual process If you haven t joined a grief patronage group I urge you to find one If the group setting doesn t provide enough help for the overwhelming emotions you are feeling a licensed psychotherapist can offer more promotion The people helping your mother with her hospice care surely can suggest a few support for you Please don t put it off Start now Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA